The Real You

Hi, I'm Caryn, and I'm an introvert.

This used to always bother me when I saw others easily navigating a social interaction while I sat there feeling anxious and awkward.

On the inside I'm: 

Oh man, am I making enough eye contact? How much is too much? Are they truly interested in my story? Or are they just being super polite? Should I just fade out? Yep. Definitely too much eye contact. They think I'm a serial killer now. Didn't I read somewhere that eye contact lasting longer than 7 seconds means you either want to be intimate with them or murder them? Either is too creepy. Why didn't I act deaf? No awkward conversation if you can't hear. My palms are sweaty. Why are they staring at my teeth?! Is there something stuck in them?! Okay they are closing the conversation... this is awkward. I should know how to do this by now. I just stuttered. Sorry. Okay. Say your farewell... NOW. Oh! They weren't done. Ugh! Now I seem rude! Why did I say that to them? Stupid. I probably offended them they're going to tell everyone I'm rude. I'm swear I'm not rude. I'm just awkward. 

But on the outside I am actually: 

So how about this weather? 

And that's how every single human interaction goes for me. I just... can't. Nope. 

I feel like I'm bothering people because small talk is not my strong suit. It's gotten better as I've gotten older. When I was younger I lived in fear of of getting the way or annoying people and I ended up being standoffish and reclusive sometimes. 

This morning, my mom, our friend Candy, and I were talking about children's personalities. I simply commented on my shyness as something I've had to work through. Mom and Candy said something that stuck with me. God uses our individual personalities to grow us into the people we are to become. They said He was going to use my feelings of shyness as a means to produce gentleness in me. 

Before today, I've never seen my introverted personality as a good thing. I always wanted to be (and tried my hardest to be) outgoing like my older siblings. I now see that their lines of work are perfect for their individual personalities, same as mine will be for me. I just need to be me. 

"There are different kinds of spiritual gifts, but the same Spirit is the source of them all. There are different kinds of service, but we serve the same Lord. God works in different ways, but it is the same God who does the work in all of us." 1 Corinthians 12:4-6 

You weren't meant to be exactly like your sister or brother or parents or anyone else you think is the best. You were meant to be you. I used to hate my personality, but God loves my personality. He created you and I with such care and intention. Don't ever wish to be anyone else. You are exactly the person God has chosen to impact a certain people group. If you don't, who will?

While We Are Young

Society is selling us teens and young adults the idea to live recklessly and have "fun" while we are young. Songs screaming through the radio are encouraging my generation to "get lucky", "get some", and plenty of other terms I'd rather not even mention. Anytime you turn on the television, you'd better have the remote handy just in case your show goes south or a commercial you weren't prepared to see comes on. 

We are getting so desensitized to sin. Society is feeding us the lie that it doesn't matter what's wrong as long as it's right for you. There are no absolutes. And this is the standard (or lack thereof) the world is setting for my generation. Not that any of this is new or a surprise to you. Things have been like this for many years; they've just seemed to get worse in the past few.

Since teenagers are being spoon fed all this rubbish, they use it as an excuse. "It's okay to rebel. I'm expected to do stupid stuff at my age." (I have literally heard that spoken out loud. I thought the guy was joking. He didn't crack a smile.) Ever hear people say, "I did a lot of stupid things in college/high school." Or "Your most stupid years are 16-21."? Because of this, some teenagers are using their age and immaturity to justify anything and everything they want to do or try.

Now, don't run and tell everyone, "Caryn said to be a Christian means you can't have fun!!". It's not a sin to have fun and enjoy yourself.... but it is a sin to partake in worldly fun.

Some don't just use their youth as an excuse for doing stupid things, but as an excuse to not do what they are called to do. Usually out if insecurity, they say they'll reach out for their destiny when they are older or more mature. Besides, they're a kid, what could they do to make an impact for the better?

Both are lies and detrimental to our future as the human race.

So here's the thing: I want to change all that. I want to live by the standards Christ set for me while I'm young. Who knows if I have anything but my teen years? We aren't even promised tomorrow. I’m praying my generation has a Fire lit within them and we can be an example to the next up and comers. (By the way, I consider every human being alive right now as my generation.) I don’t want any regrets. I hear so many people talking about what they regret doing when they were a kid. We weren’t made to be regretful! We were made to seize opportunities and love people!

My plea to my fellow young adults is this: let’s live for Christ now! Not when we are “more qualified” or more mature. That’s never going to happen. I love how Ecclesiastes 12:1 puts it, “Remember also your Creator in the days of your youth, before the evil days come and the years draw near when you will say, ‘I have no delight in them’” (emphasis mine)

God has put passions in each of our hearts. What’s yours? What are you going to do to impact your world? Who are you going to love recklessly? What people group really tugs at your heart strings? It’s amazing how God puts specific burdens on His children’s heart to guide them in the way they should go. Let’s not waste our days. Pray and ask God for guidance on how you can be most effective in your community and in the lives around you.

And the cool thing is, God wants to use YOU to impact other’s lives. How exciting that we get to do that!!

Here are some Bible passages that have really spoken to me in the past few days:

“Then I said, ‘Alas, Lord God! I do not know how to speak, because I am a youth.’ But the Lord said to me, ‘Do not say, “I am youth,” because everywhere I send you, you shall go, and all that I command, you shall speak.’” Jeremiah 1:6-7 

“Let no one look down on you for your youthfulness, but rather in speech, conduct, love, faith, and purity, show yourself an example of those who believe.” 1 Timothy 4:12

“But I do not consider my life of any account as dear to myself, so that I may finish my course and the ministry which I received from the Lord Jesus, to testify solemnly of the gospel of the grace of God.” Acts 20:24

So, are you with me? Want to change the world? Go out there today and be all God created you to be (which is absolutely **amazing**).

Standing Firm

    Here's a problem I've noticed fellow Christians are struggling with these days: we want to quit right before the good part. We will go along with it until it get difficult, then we doubt God and feel abandoned. Have we forgotten all Christ has done for us in the past? Do we not think He can do the same again? Christ is the same yesterday, today, and tomorrow. If He has come through for you once, He will do it again. Does that mean the struggle goes away? Not always. Maybe God wants us to "press on toward the goal" (Philippians 3:14) He has set before us. He wants to see how faithful we will be in pursuing Him. He wants to see if we will sacrifice our comfort for the sake of others.
    I've seen Christians who have foolishly done the opposite. They have sacrificed their calling for comfort. They sit in your church on Sunday morning, staring into space. Their eyes have lost the glow; their hearts have lost the flame. Their bodies look alive but their spirits are dead. They ask themselves questions such as, "Why am I here?", "Where has my purpose gone?", or "What am I living for?" There is hope for these Christians! An awakening is coming to their front door and we are going to take it to them.
    This world doesn't just need an awakening, it needs a Jesus-revolution. If you and I don't start it, who will? You and I are called, chosen, set-apart all for God's good pleasure. God will use you in mighty ways if you make yourself available. He has great plans for your life regardless of your past! I don't care what you've done, or who you did it to, there is forgiveness in the arms of Jesus. Forgiveness is actually His specialty. Isaiah 30:18 says, "The Lord longs to be gracious to you... He waits on high to have compassion on you." See? He is waiting for you to return to Him! How do you expect to do anything of importance in this life if its not for The Lord? "But, Caryn, you don't know what God has asked me to do! It'll be difficult and unpleasant. I don't want to do something like that." Do you not think it was unpleasant for Jesus to come as a man to earth and die a criminals death? He did it because of His love for you and I, though! "For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son so that whoever believes in Him will not perish but have everlasting life." John 3:16. Jesus was (and is) completely perfect. He was the apple of His Father's eye. God loves Jesus with all of His being! Now here is what completely blows my mind every time I think about it: God loves you, imperfections and all, as much as He loves Jesus. Just let that soak in for a second. God, the creator of everything good and holy, the Father of our King, The Great I AM, loves you-- as much as He loves Jesus. It's kind of crazy the One who has created all things and is sovereign over everything in the universe still wants you and longs for you to look His way. He still takes time to pursue you, His son, His daughter. So what are we doing for Him in return?
    Listen guys, we need to get our heads in the game here. There isn't much time left for this world. This may be stating the obvious but right now is the closest we have ever been to Jesus' return. How selfish it would be to not share our joy and The Good News with others! We need to make time to show the love of Christ to someone who desperately needs to know it, and let me tell you, this world is desperate. Sin has drained the love right out of it, but GOOD NEWS: we know the Source of such love that can heal the gaping wounds of the brokenness in the world.
    Hebrews 11:24-26 says about Moses, "...choosing rather to endure ill-treatment with the people of God than to enjoy the passing pleasures of sin,  considering the reproach of Christ greater riches than the treasures of Egypt; for he was looking to the reward." So, are God's people worth embracing pain and suffering?? YES, a thousand times, yes. Don't you see what our reward is? Heaven is our reward! Our prize is Christ. He is our inheritance. Press on toward your goal. Don't give up. Don't back down. Stand firm in The Lord and the joy will come in the morning. Always remember, friends: you don't have Him, He has you... And He will not let you go.

All You Got

     "Excuse me, ma'am." I heard a small voice say from behind me. I turned around to 
see a beautiful little girl, around 6 years old, staring at me.  She was sitting 
in a booth in subway where we had just eaten lunch. "Would you like one of 
these?" She handed me a torn piece of paper with a heart and a J on it, written 
in blue marker. 
     "Why, I sure would! Is the J your initial? I wish I could draw hearts that 
good." 
     I learned her name was Jamie. She handed me another piece of paper with a heart 
and a T on it (those were for the boys) to give to my brother who was behind me. 
I asked her what the T stood for and she pointed to a man who had just walked 
up, whom I assume was her grandfather, and introduced "Tom" with a grin. 
I smiled and greeted Mr. Tom. He look so proud of this child; he couldn't wipe 
the smile of his face. Then I turned back to Jamie, took her little hand into my 
own, and said "It was so nice to meet you, Jamie. I'm Cary." 
     "Have a nice day, Cary!" She said with a big smile.
     We walked out and got into our car when I thought, why didn't I share Christ 
with them? I told my dad to wait as I dug through my purse and found a little 
Samaritans purse track I have carried around forever. I ran back inside and 
handed it to Jamie. I told her to read it with Mr. Tom later. I pointed out that there was a 
little girl who was just like her on it; I told her that the little girl was loved like she was. 

I turned to leave, again her little voice rang out, "bye Cary!!" 
I spun around, flashed a smile, and went out to the car. 

     What is the moral to this story? It's the perfect picture of how we are supposed 
to share Christ! He calls us to give everything we have to love others. Jamie 
didn't have a whole lot but she still gave. She wanted to do something for 
someone. I wonder how long it took her to make all those cards? You could tell 
the fact that she made someone smile sent her over the moon. It made me think of 
the woman in the Bible who gave a cent in the offering. Jesus said to his 
disciples in Mark 12:43 “Truly I say to you, this poor widow put in more than 
all the contributors to the treasury;" She didn't give near as much as the 
others, but she gave all she had. 
     Are you giving it all you got? Or just enough to get by? Jesus knows the heart. 
We need people who will dare to love recklessly! How are people supposed to know the love 
of Christ if it is not modeled out for them? How can we expect people to 
understand unconditional love if they've never revived it from any person 
before? It's like saying "go, be filled and be warmed" with out giving them 
clothes or food. It just doesn't make sense. 2013 is a new year to start fresh. 
Let 2013 be known as the year God's people really loved their brothers and 
sisters.